Compassion, Faith and Right Thinking
by
Swami Nikhilananda Saraswati

Children are like lamps to be lit and not vessels to be filled, said Pujya Gurudev when referring to the way children should be treated. At another time he said, Invest in the child and not on the child. He started Bal Vihar classes so that we may be able to light lamps in the hearts of children. When we look around today, we find a lot of indiscipline and hear disheartening news about youngsters. We feel helpless and wonder what is happening. We also want to be able to contribute towards stemming the rot. 

From birth the child is exposed to many influences family, neighbours, friends, peers and society all contribute to the make up of the child. The media today has a strong presence and is constantly bombarding the childs mind along with the various other influences. He grows up confused about the role of values because of the negative influences around. The child grows up with confusion because there is a contradiction between what he hears and what he experiences. For example, he is told that, Honesty is the best policy, but he sees honest people being referred to as, Bechara bhala admi.  In his experience values are heard but not seen in practice. The child is bewildered and does not what path he should follow. In view of this we need to give them good samskaras or proper influences from their childhood.

In our educational institutions the emphasis is on knowledge of the material world, so the child has empirical knowledge, but needs extra help to deal with issues pertaining to the very purpose of life. He does not know how to face the challenges that life presents. He is confused and unable to deal with issues such as jealousy, relationships, sorrow and anger. This vital knowledge is unfortunately not being imparted in either the home or the school. The formation of nuclear families has only worsened the situation. We need to give them protection from this virtual anti-cultural bombardment.

Pujya Gurudevs vision of Bal Vihar can help bridge the gap and give the children the necessary confidence and strength to combat lifes negative influences. We have seen the influence these classes have on the children that attend them. In America, we have noticed marked differences in the behaviour patterns of those who are exposed to Bal Vihar and those who are not. Most of the children attending these were of Indian origin and in danger of loosing their identity. . The parents of these children are unable to cope with all their questions and needed help. The Bal Vihar classes have succeeded in instilling self-confidence in them and restoring their identity.  A tree planted in proper soil grows well. The classes provided the right environment required for the blossoming of the children.

There is a famous shloka in Sanskrit, which says that up to the age of five the child must be given unconditional love. During these years the child is most receptive and the negative or positive feelings that the child is exposed to during this time, remain throughout life. Most important, children even of this age need to be respected. Adults sometimes do not think of them as individuals and resort to cheek pulling as a way of showing affection. In the next ten years the children have lots of questions in their young minds. This is the time to discipline them teach them to think. After 15 years of age we must make friends with them and through love develop a rapport with them.

As a teacher or a bal vihar sevak/sevika, it is important to impart love to the child. We can reach the heart of the child and develop the capacity to love through stories, games, and other activities.

What is the final product that we need to impart to the children?  We should be able to impart the value of love (not attachment)? The word love is freely bandied about without understanding its meaning or the deeper import. Compassion is a better word than love. Compassion encompasses both love and seva, and makes us ready to serve the person we love. Compassion is a more powerful and lasting emotion. We may say that we love animals, but put them into cages. We say we love nature, but defile it by creating pollution. Pollution is a direct result of a lack of compassion. God is kripasagar or the ocean of compassion. Listening to their stories will help us imbibe this quality and we will be able to pass it on to those we interact with.

The second value we need to impart is shraddha or faith. If the children are imbued with the right kind of faith, sattvic shraddha then the rest follows. They must learn to have faith in themselves, in the Scriptures, the Guru and God. This is sattvic shraddha. Help them build a relationship with God. There are three steps in our relationship with God. At the first level, we believe in the existence of God and develop the faith that He is all knowing and compassionate. At the second level, the feeling develops that God belongs to me. Finally I come to realize that I belong to God.

We must develop a relationship with God. He can be interacted with as mother, father, friend, teacher or child. It is only when we have a relationship that the feelings or emotions begin to flow. Suppose a friend is coming to receive me at the station, and then out of the thousands of faces, I will look for that one face that will bring joy to my heart.

Similarly, in our relationship with God, we should have the deep abiding faith that we can rely on Him. My heart should carry the feeling, He is mine and I am His. With this deep faith we can face the ups and downs of life cheerfully. 

We must have faith in our ability and ourselves. There must be a conviction in the words of the Scriptures and good values. We must abide by the teaching of the Scriptures and be totally committed to following good values, because in their observance we are assured of Gods protection. Honesty, humility and other values are expressions of God Himself. Non-violence is one of the greatest virtues, but we find that today violence is being worshipped. People have more faith in violence. The world is an expression of God. It is important for children to develop a relationship with God as He is seen manifesting in Nature. These are the samskaras that need to be inculcated in the growing child.

The slightly older children need to be taught the ability of thinking correctly. With the help of various situations, parables and stories, the value of right and wrong thinking can be nurtured. In modern times, we bring down the good and push up the wrong. We boast of going to bars and visit the temple in secrecy!

Every person is a mixture of good and bad. A person may be 90% good and 10% bad, but we will only remember the bad 10% and forget the good 90%. The one mistake that we commit is remembered and the years of good deeds are forgotten. Rama sent Sita away to the forest and still he is remembered for that one deed that was ostensibly the black mark on his chart. Suppose we are shown a white sheet with a black dot on it and asked about what we see. The instant response would be that we are seeing a black dot. This is the way our mind responds and is structured. To change this we have to expose ourselves to noble company, change our samskaras, develop faith, and learn to live by the values of right thinking.

Other articles by Swami Nikhilananda Saraswati

Art of Forgiveness

Be Truthful in Surrender

Formula for Success